The Apostle Paul gave a discourse about the relationship between a husband and wife in Ephesians 5:21-33 (Amplified). In this passage he describes the bond between them in the matters of the heart. In Verse 32 he wraps up the discourse saying that, "This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning (the relationship of) Christ and the Church." Verse 33 goes on, "However, let each man of you (without exception) love his wife as (being in a sense) his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband (that she notices him, venerates him and esteems him; and that she defers to him, and praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly)."
We at times in our married life, seem to begin to take each other for granted. We forget that sometimes we need to just stop what we're doing and really examine our relationship. We get so caught up in the every day things of life and forget why we were there. Someone once asked me what would happen if I lost everything. After thinking about it awhile, I answered him and said that "I have everything I started with in my wife."
All we had when we started was each other. Everything gained since then is nice, but not essential. Our relationship with each other is the most important thing. We have worked together for all we have and all that we have is for one another. Without my wife I wouldn't have built a house. I built it for her.
Most men would be content with very little in life. We could love almost anywhere and with very little for ourselves. The majority of men I know, would or could live in the woods during hunting season and at the river during fishing season. Camping out in the woods in a tent or hunting lodge would be all we need. My wife, however, would not.
Jesus had all He ever needed while He was with the Father. He was never sick, broke, hungry, distressed or without. He had always had authority over satan and death. There was nothing He ever had need of. Everything Jesus ever did, He did for His bride, the Church. Ephesians 5:25 (Amplified) tells us, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." This is total love. Verse 22 says, "Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as (a service to the Lord)." Verse 24 says, "As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands."
To love our wives like Christ loves the Church is a condition of the heart. The only way to continue in this kind of love is by keeping His love flowing in our lives. Giving everything that you are or have to your wife is the kind of totally unselfish love. Most men want to give the very best to the woman they love. They will work hard, sometimes at a job they don't even like, to supply her things. They work nights, split shifts, holidays, weekends and even overtime in order to give her things. I worked twelve years on a job where I'd work a week of days, then swing shifts, a week of nights and then a week on the midnight shift. I missed a lot of things that I would have liked to share with my wife to provided all the things she needed.
I found it was easy to forget why I was working during this time because it seemed like all I did was work. Then I'd remember why I was doing it and it gave me the hope and strength I needed to continue on. Meeting her needs was all the reward I needed. And, she in turn, was always happy with what I did. She didn't care if I worked a high paying job or a lower paying job. She always knew I was doing the best I could and that it was all for her sake.
Sometimes, we look at what other people have and begin comparing our spouses with others. This is a heart condition that must be avoided at all costs. I've discovered that as my walk and relationship with the Lord goes, so goes my relationship with my wife. Without God's love flowing through me, my own natural love becomes insufficient in my marriage. When God's love wasn't present or being kept predominant in my life, I began walking back in the natural. All the things I was doing was for nothing. I had to keep God at the center of my heart in order to love my wife like Christ loves the church.
When we forget that it's His love in us that moves us, we fall back into the selfish love we had before we knew Christ. I've found that without Him, I didn't even have the ability to love; because God is love.
We can begin overlooking the sacrifices we make make in love and begin taking one another for granted. When we do this, the distance between us begins to grow. And we begin hearing such old sayings of the world creep into the Church as "we just grew apart" or "I love him (or her), but I'm no longer in love with him." These are signs of not being in fellowship with our Father.
The condition of the heart is a vital part of our fellowship with Love Himself. We know that we need Him, but we can fall into the same trap the world falls into. We read in Mark 4:19 about the cares of the world and all the other things that enter and choke out the Word. This happens when our heart turns to the things we do instead of why we do them (in love) and who we do them for.
The condition of the heart is something we must always be aware of. Before we can become resentful with our mate or before we can break covenant with them, we must first break covenant with the Lord. Once this condition of the heart sets in, it's vital it be remitted at once. Most divorces could be totally avoided if we would recognize this heart condition early enough.
Keep your time with the Lord at the top of your priorities. He must be number one in our lives in order to keep everything else in place. One person cannot do it all by themselves. Husbands must love your wife as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for her. Wives must love your husbands like the Church loves Christ. This is a condition of the heart that we love Him because He first loved us. We (the wives) love him because of His love for us and submit to him not in fear, but because of His love for us.
Keep your heart soft and pliable in the hands of God. Don't let hardness of heart enter in. Afterall, it's His love for us that holds us together and through His love, we remain whole and well. We must respond in love at home more than anywhere else. If we only act the part in public and don't walk it at home, then we're setting ourselves up for heart failure and our love will wax cold.
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