Throughout the years, my wife and I have ministered to many couples having problems in their relationship. Most of them had premarital sex, either before being saved or after. Many were married to an unsaved partner. Many of the women we counseled were already married when they got saved. Some were living with men who were abusive and/or unfaithful in that relationship.
Some of the women who were in abusive relationships had a history of being battered. The question most of their friends and family asked them was, "Why don't you leave him?" You might wonder what could hold this relationship together under these circumstances. In many cases we found that this was the man with whom they had sex with first.
There is something in their bond that defied common sense and it must be something more than just natural things. As I began seeking the Lord about this, He began revealing to me that it was the power of the blood covenant. I was ignorant of and unaware of the power of the blood that occurred between a a husband and wife. There is a spiritual bond and tie in the blood relationship that eluded the world and the Church.
God's Word instructed that both the man and woman were to be virgins at the time of their marriage. The shedding of blood and the life of the man (in his seed) were to be exchanged on the wedding night that would activate a life long covenant. This bond was so strong on the woman's behalf, that it would go way beyond that natural degree of comfort or care.
The blood covenant bond was so strong that is exceeded what most would call, "common sense." One would think that a woman who was being beaten and abused would simply leave, but she doesn't. Some women were shamed and neglected by their spouses and didn't leave. God began revealing the power of the blood in the marriage covenant to me. He showed me how it was greater than what we had previously thought.
Most of us in the Church, viewed premarital sex as simply a sin to be avoided. Most people believed it was especially sinful for the woman and didn't judge it in the same way for men. God set forth the way of marriage to be a covenant and not just a license.
For many years we knew there was something that tied a woman to her "first love, but we didn't recognize what that tie was. Many virgin women who have sex with a man for the first time, still felt a tie to their first love. Whether or not the experience was a good one, there was a tie that couldn't be explained.
This was a spiritual tie that couldn't be explained by the natural mind. If one of them was saved and the other was not, there was always something missing in their relationship. The two could satisfy their flesh and even their soul (their emotional part), but something in that relationship made them feel like something was being withheld from them. There was a distance that seemed to trouble their union. It was wrong and they both felt it.
The marriage covenant is a spiritual thing and not simply a physical one. It doesn't matter how hard the two tried, the "life" of the relationship wasn't present. If one of the two was born again and their partner wasn't, then the spirit or life of the relationship wasn't present. Life couldn't be put into the relationship without the Spirit of life.
This is the reason why many would go from person to person seeking fulfillment and not being able to satisfy what was wrong with them. Their satisfaction in the relationship was fleeting and short lasted. There was a "hold" from their first sexual partner that wouldn't last beyond that first partner.
There are Christians today, who still have a spiritual tie to someone other than their spouse. If we're sincere in our walk with God and we love Him, then we hold that dissatisfaction in check, but it still exists in many couples.
God can restore this tie to the marriage covenant if we know how and what to pray for. It's more than just asking forgiveness for premarital sex. It's restoring the life of the blood back to the relationship. Life and death share nothing in common. The spiritually live person who is married to the spiritually dead person are only joined in body and soul and not in the spirit or life.
This "disconnect" is something felt in the relationship, even if it's not discussed or recognized. At least one third of the person is being withheld from the other and it's something always present in that relationship. We've never really given this much thought and assumed that since it was forgiven when we got saved, then everything was alright.
The sin of premarital sex was forgiven, along with all our other sins. It's not a matter of forgiveness, but of restoration of the "tie" in the blood. Leviticus 17 tells us that, "The life is in the blood," speaking about the spirit life.
We've probably all heard someone say, "We just fell out of love for some reason." Or, "I still love him/her, but I'm not in love with them." The blood tie was there to hold a married couple together through anything that could arise in the marriage covenant.
If a tie could hold a woman to someone who abused her, was unfaithful to her or was unsaved and ungodly, what would it do for someone who loved God and walked in love with her? The blood covenant was meant to cement the relationship with the "blood" of her life that was given in the relationship of marriage.
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